|
HFCC

Writing Improvement
Tutorials Courtesy of Rick Bailey, A.D.
English Instructor
This exercise should be done after you have
completed the material on the comma. In particular, comma
exercise 2 explores the punctuation of pairs, series, and
coordination. If you have done that exercise, continue
reading. If not, you are advised to go to that exercise.
Parallelism is the grammatical similarity of parts joined in a
pair or series. “I went to school, bought my books, and chatted
with my counselor for a few minutes.” In this sentence, there
is a series of verbs in the past tense: went, bought, and
chatted. Because of their similarity, this series is said to be
parallel. Now let’s look at an example that is not
parallel:
You get the writer’s drift here. He’s
talking about two oversights or problems. So there’s a pair
involved. But in a grammatical sense, it’s not clear what
is being paired. What does the writer join with the
conjunction “or”? “Homework” and “doing,” a noun and a
participle. These are not like parts of speech. The
sentence is simplified and made parallel with a few
revisions:
In my childhood years, I'd tend to forget
homework or doing a chore.
In my childhood years, I'd tend to forget homework or
a chores.
In my childhood years, I'd tend to forget homework or
chores.
The pair is now parallel because it consists
of two similar grammatical units. The sentence sounds
better. It is also much more concise. Here’s another
example:
-
So if I were to own a small business and
looking to hire you into my field of work, you must be
knowledgeable, dependent, friendly, and dress within store
code.
Look for conjunctions and examine what the
writer joins with those conjunctions. In this case, there
is both a pair and a series.
So if I were to own a small
business and looking to hire you into my field of
work
and
you must be knowledgeable,
dependent, friendly, and dress within
store code.
Alter the phrasing to make similar
grammatical parts. When you do so, keep this rule of thumb
in mind: simple is best.
So if I were to owned
a small business and wanted looking
to hire you into my field of work
you must would have to
be knowledgeable, dependent, friendly,
and dressed within store code
So if I owned a small business and wanted to
hire you into my field of work, you would have to be
knowledgeable, dependent, friendly, and dressed in keeping
with the store code.
Directions: Highlight
conjunctions in each sentence below. Then determine and
underline what terms are being joined in the pair or series.
Revise the sentences so that pairs and series are grammatically
parallel. Some cutting may be necessary. Try to preserve the
exact meaning of the sentence. Complete the work and return to
this site for the answers.
Question One:
You always have to find someone you can trust, rely on, and
be very good with customers.
Question Two:
They should feel comfortable working with others and not
someone who tries to do all the work by themselves.
Question Three:
I learned many things working in the restaurant. I learned
to make pizza, cook, and cashier.
Question Four:
First the problem had to be defined, then a meeting of the
minds, and lastly, organizing committees around the world
under the watchful eyes of the UN.
Question Five:
One leader was dubbed by his own people to be incompetent
and a disaster as Secretary of the Environment.
Question Six:
I was stuck swimming in the hotel pool and ocean by myself.
That was about all there was to do besides miniature golf or
going for a boat ride.
Question Seven:
I tried to outsmart him by speeding up or turn quickly so I
could confuse him.
Question Eight:
We'd play cops and robbers until one of us got called in for
dinner, for the night, or if we got tired.
Question Nine:
I will always remember the scene in the Bone Collector where
a gun ripped off a mans fingers, toes, and shot through his
heart.
Question Ten:
Without guns there would be less war, senseless death, and
more peace.
Question Eleven:
I wanted to make the right choice in size, price, and good
running car for me.
Question Twelve:
Charity is never done as a chore, or doing something because
you have to.
Back to
Sentence Works Exercise page
HFCC
|